Over little a year ago, I went through a pretty rough break-up. I fell into a nasty depressed and demotivated state. Pain. Sadness. Anger. Everyone who has experienced a break up in a committed relationship has surely felt these emotions. It’s a rapid and brutal downward spiral that precipitates downward. Pain begets sadness and anger, and as a result the sadness fuels more pain, more sadness, and more anger. It’s a vicious cycle that requires very delicate treatment.
Which is why I’m so blessed to have amazing friends. They understood the pain I was feeling – maybe not the exact emotions nor the scale of how much I was hurting, but they had a rough idea of what I was going through and they wanted to be there for me. And they were there for me, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. They invited to spend some time with me. At first, I declined. In fact, I declined many times. Each time felt like an annoyance and a disregard to what I was going through. But then they finally broke down my wall. They were at the bottom of the spiral staircase and grabbed me, breaking my fall, extending a hand to pick me up. In the last 6 months, I’ve picked myself back up and gradually started walking back up. But my friendship, my brotherhood gave me the change in momentum I needed.
The common maxim says that, “hindsight is 20/20.” I could say I wish I saw what I was going through and chosen better action. But I’m not completely sure I would agree with the sentiment. I need these experiences in life. I need to feel raw emotions of pain, sadness, and anger. I need frustration. I need depression. That’s not to say I want to experience any extreme measures of pain such from loss of life or something of similar nature. No, this is not what I’m referring to; but in a general manner of speaking, I need to know what emotional pain is and I need to learn how to cope with it.