Introspection – How to Find the Right Life Partner

When I attended college, I dated from what I felt was a decent pool of women. I tried, to the best of my abilities, to keep an open mind and be acceptive and expressive to each and every individual. This time taught me what characteristic traits I wanted in a life partner, but I never wrote it down.

During my time in Korea, I have been able to reflect and record what I identify most with. It has been quite some time since I had a girlfriend, but now I know exactly what I want. I realize that I will never find the person that meets my list 100%, but this exercise has certainly allowed me to be honest with myself.

I realize some of this may brush off as pompous, superficial, and even mean. But I think it’s better that you come to terms with who you are and what you want. If you don’t, then you will be unhappy and/or incompatible with the person you end up with.

Organization Levels:

  1. Fundamental Pillars
    1. General Characteristic Constituents
      1. Specific Individual Articles

After you read mine, I encourage you write yours. Here goes…

  1. A Similar or Higher Level of Intellect
    1. Educational Background
      1. Bachelor’s Degree or Higher Studies
    2. Continual Yearning to Learn
      1. Someone who reads books, newspapers, and browses external sources for further knowledge, information, and creativity
      2. Someone who enjoys going to the bookstore and getting “lost” for a day with me
      3. Someone who asks why?
      4. Someone who would rather ask how things work instead of remain ignorant and overlook it
    3. Ability to Engage in Deep, Provocative Dialogue
      1. Someone who has the ability to make compelling, logical arguments
      2. Someone who is concise, yet incisive
      3. Someone who can stimulate the natural flow of a conversation and know how to manipulate different nuances via color, tone, diction, body language, facial expression, etc.
      4. Someone who challenges me and encourages me to think further
    4. Articulate and Eloquent
      1. Someone who can express themselves with a relative level of ease and not have trouble finding words
      2. Someone who understands that words contain varying connotations and these subtle connotations matter
  2. An Attractive Physique
    1. Age
      1. +/- 5 years from my age
        1. This is only because most girls don’t have the level of maturity, development, and aspirations at younger ages.
    2. Activity Level
      1. Someone who adopts a healthy level of fitness and outdoor activity
      2. Someone who will explore the outdoors (all habitats included – plains, tundra, mountainous, etc.) with me via hikes, walks, canoeing, etc.
      3. Someone who engages in casual to competitive sports, tennis highly preferred
    3. Height and Weight
      1. Someone around my height 5’7” or shorter
      2. Someone who can be described as physically fit to skinny
      3. Someone who is not fragile
    4. Confidence and Self Image
      1. Someone who has little to no self-image issues
      2. Someone who is content with their body, but always makes attempts to better themselves
    5. Cute and Innocent
      1. Someone who is often described as innocent and/or cute
      2. Someone who smiles frequently and abundantly
    6. Dress
      1. Someone who often dresses sophisticated or classy when going outdoors
      2. Someone with a sense of fashion and can help me dress better
  3. A Similar Persona that Weaves Smoothly
    1. Adventurous
      1. Someone who has the ability to overcome fears with me
      2. Someone who will sky dive, bungee jump, heli-ski, and/or do other crazy things with me
    2. Honesty and Forthrightness
      1. Someone who I can be frank with, without worrying about the feelings being damaged because I am speaking out of love and respect
      2. Someone who can be equally as frank with me
      3. Someone I can communicate with on multiple levels without reservation or judgement
    3. Proactive and Optimistic
      1. Someone who knows obstacles can be overcome and makes an active, perceptive effort to overcome these obstacles
    4. Open-minded Extrovert
      1. Someone who is inquisitive and enjoys learning about people’s experiences and thoughts
    5. Receptive to Emotions
      1. Someone who can read body language and emotional insights from other people
    6. Strong Principles
      1. Someone who will not lead an immoral lifestyle and has the convinction to do what is right over what is optimal for self
  4. Similar Lifestyle Habits
    1. Frugality
      1. Someone who has similar spending habits as me (saving a significant portion of their paycheck for future investments)
      2. Someone who values the dollar and the difficult of making money
      3. Someone is wants to earn more than the average family and as a couple, live a richer life (rich with experience, but require $)
    2. Cultured and Well-Traveled
      1. Someone who has developed some perspective and realizes that there is a whole world outside of home
      2. Someone who takes bits and pieces from various cultures and adopts the best traditions and best etiquettes from each
      3. Someone who likes to travel and will travel with me after marriage
      4. Someone who does not take things for granted and thanks others often for their actions (sending thank you cards after dinners, not showing up to someone’s house empty handed, etc.)
      5. Someone who has forgives often and understands that not everyone is blessed with the same circumstances as you
    3. Experimental and Spontaneous
      1. Someone who has a conservative regimen, yet lives spontaneously
      2. Someone who likes to stay at home for the majority of the days, but can accept and enjoy when something occurs from spontaneity
    4. Food, Wine, and Chocolate Aficionado
      1. Someone who likes to cook and bake
    5. Live Performance Lover
      1. Someone who enjoys live performances such as musicals, plays, broadways, operas, symphonies, etc.
      2. Someone who understands the strenous hours of dedication that is required and expected from theatrical performances
  5. An Indestructible Emotional Connection
    1. Passion
      1. Someone who I have a fiery passion with… this could be anywhere from extreme fiery fights followed
      2. Someone I could sweet off her feet
      3. Someone who I have a strong sexual connection with
    2. Romance
      1. Someone I can treat and spoil, as a hopeless romantic. I would plan out and execute spectacular surprises, scavenger hunts, etc.
      2. Someone who appreciates the small thoughts and small gifts
  6. A Continuous Persuit for Spirituality
    1. Christian Background
      1. Someone who is exhibits a committed devotion to a higher spirit and acknowledges that we are not alone
      1. Someone who could strengthen my connection with God
  7. An Abundant Family Background (less crucial; however, given the parameters of the above, they will most likely be from the following)
    1. Mid-to-High Social Status
      1. Someone who comes from a healthy, loving family
      2. Someone who is wealthy would be nice, but not necessary
    2. Large Family
      1. Someone who has a larger family so we can spend time with both sides of the family
      2. Someone who has received and given out plenty of love throughout the members of their family
      3. Someone who is not the last child (not crucial, but last child’s have a proclivity to be selfish)
  8. Ethnicity
    1. Asian preference, but I’m open minded
    2. Someone who is not susceptible to bigotry or prejudice (seeing that my friends come in every color and every ethnicity)
    3. Someone who does not come from a background and/or history of racism
    4. Someone without any personal vendettas
  9. Future
    1. Children
      1. Someone who wants two children
      2. Someone who believes those two children will be everything in the world
    2. Ambitions
      1. Someone who is driven to excel professionally and personally
      2. Someone who doesn’t settle and expects more out of life
  10. Miscellaneous Bonuses
    1. Artistic Inclination
      1. Someone who can sing!
      2. Someone who can draw, paint, or design in any form (interior design is awesome).
      3. Someone who has musical acumen and not tone deaf (like I am)
    2. Polyglot
      1. Someone who can speak Korean and English is preferred; other languages are bonuses

If you or someone you know can be identified with a majority of the above qualities and are a female, send an application! 🙂 hahaha

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